But Not Us
by Alwayssg1
Summary: This is just a little something I came up with based on the teaser and the great line, "Some people move on, but not us."
1. Chapter 1

**I still don't have time for a full novella, but here's a quick one-shot based on the teaser. I could probably be talked into making it a multi with weekly or bi-weekly updates if there's enough interest and my schedule allows. Angst-heavy with a touch of Steve/Natasha.**

**I still don't own the Avengers. This is just for fun.**

Bone-weary and ready to drop, Natasha walked the quiet corridor from the Compound's hangar bay to her quarters. Three days of searching the streets of Hong Kong day and night, pausing only to eat or get a few hours of restless sleep, had completely done her in and confirmed her fears.

Laura, the first woman who had ever been a real friend to her, was gone. Her strong and brave little Cooper was no more. There would be no more tea parties or cuddling up for girl-talk with Lila and no more peekaboo with sweet little Cooper.

When the remaining Avengers had found the farmhouse empty on their return from Wakanda, she'd known deep down they'd been lost, just as she'd known in her gut Clint had somehow survived. After seeing a grainy image of a vigilante passing out his own form of justice on the streets of Hong Kong, it wasn't much of a leap to figure out it was Clint.

Natasha had quickly said her goodbyes to the others and taken a quinjet to retrieve her best friend. She just didn't expect to return alone, and she didn't expect to be this exhausted. Her heart ached, and it took tremendous effort to walk those final steps to her room with her legs ready to give way from the stress still coursing through her body.

Plopping her duffel bag on the dresser, she glanced at the clock on the wall. Twenty minutes past noon, that explained why the building felt so empty. Bruce was probably locked away in the lab, as he had been every day for the past eleven since they'd returned. He had stayed locked in Shuri's empty lab for the first three days. How was it even possible that only two weeks had past since the snap?

Thor and his new sidekick, Rocket, had left before she took off for Hong Kong to see what they could learn elsewhere in the galaxy. Who knew when or if they return? Steve seemed to think they would be back, but Natasha wasn't convinced. This wasn't their planet. If they decided they were needed more elsewhere, why would they return?

Rhodey was probably stuck in some meeting. The remnants of the team agreed he was the one who should deal with the governments of the world. A few years ago, that job would have been shared by Steve and Tony, but Steve was still, at least technically, a fugitive, and Tony was listed as one of the many missing.

Steve's whereabouts were pretty easy to figure out. Almost immediately after the snap, support groups popped up everywhere with daily, sometimes even hourly, meetings where survivors could sit and talk through their emotions. Steve never missed the 12 PM session. Natasha knew he didn't actually go to get help. He went to torture himself for not stopping the evil madman from destroying so many lives. It wasn't healthy, but she couldn't exactly stop him. They were all grieving in their own ways.

Natasha unzipped her cat suit and let it fall to the floor. She didn't bother picking it up, something else she never would have done in the pre-Snap world. She drew herself a bath. Soaking in the tub was a luxury she hadn't allowed herself since long before the end of the world, and that's really what this was in her opinion.

Time was now divided into before the Snap and after the Snap. Post-Snap Earth was just a miserable apocalyptic existence where no one had any real direction. No one knew how to even begin re-establishing ordinary lives, because ordinary had turned to dust with half of all life.

Some infrastructure had managed to fall into place. FEMA had actually done a decent job in the States, a miracle considering the magnitude of this catastrophe. Wakanda walled themselves off as soon as the Avengers were in the air, but not before sending delegates to help around the world.

China seemed to be doing about as well as the U.S. at providing for people's basic needs. Europe was still struggling, and Natasha honestly didn't even want to know how Russia was faring. She didn't have much faith in her mother country's ability to protect their people long enough for them to come out of this devastating emotional fog and put their country back together.

Soaking eased her aching muscles so Natasha allowed herself to just stay in the tub until she was afraid she might drift off to sleep. Reluctantly, she pulled the plug and reached for a towel. She dried off slowly and wrapped the over-sized towel around her body, slightly irritated with herself for not grabbing her clothing. The bathroom was steamy and warm, but her room would be chilly.

Her green eyes locked on his blue ones as soon as she exited the bathroom. Steve was just standing there in her quarters, looking lost. There was a time when seeing her in a towel would have made him blush and avert his eyes, but apparently his old-school sensibilities were yet another victim of the Snap.

After what felt like forever, but was probably only a few seconds, Natasha opened her mouth to speak. "He's alive," she said softly.

"He didn't come back with you," Steve replied, and Natasha wasn't sure if he was guessing or if he'd looked at the footage of her alone in the cargo bay. She just shook her head. "He'll come home when he's ready," he said with so much authority that she almost believed him.

Steve didn't ask about Laura and the kids, and Natasha didn't offer any information. She was sure he knew she would have told him if they had survived. "He knows where we are," she replied.

Steve took a few steps in her direction and pushed a strand of blonde hair out of her face. The warmth of the gesture broke something inside of her and the tears started to flow. Steve wrapped her into a warm hug and let her cry the tears she had been holding back since learning the fate of her family.

They just stood there until her tears subsided and her lack of clothing finally came to her remembrance. She pulled back, brushing the last few tears from her eyes, and pulled a pair of yoga pants and a t-shirt from her dresser.

As she walked back to the bathroom, she looked over her shoulder at Steve. "Stay," she whispered.

He only nodded in response, and she quickly closed the door and dressed before returning to him. Steve was sitting on her bed. He stretched out his arms again and she immediately fell into them.

This seemed to be their new thing. They had been close for years. Being on the run together had only served to solidify their closeness, and, since the world fell apart, they depended on each other more than ever.

It was friendship, but somehow it was so much deeper. Natasha didn't know how to define what she and Steve had, and she really wasn't sure there was a reason to try. All she knew was that they gravitated to each other and calmed each other, and she knew he needed her every bit as much as she needed him.

It wasn't a romance. They weren't intimate in that way. Whatever this was, it was deeper than anything she had ever had with anyone else. Part of her wondered if there had ever been a relationship like theirs before in the history of time, and that same part of her almost hoped not. This thing they had was special.

"How was the meeting? Did you talk this time?" she finally asked, knowing he probably still hadn't said a word.

"Almost," Steve replied, "I wanted to say something to the idiot running the meeting so bad. He kept going on and on about how we were going to have to move on. That's not what these people want to hear, Nat. How can we move on from this? How can anyone move on from this?"

"There are some people who can move on from anything," Natasha replied. "Fury told me I was one of them. It wasn't long after I defected. I was struggling to figure out where I fit in at Shield. My past crimes, the things that happened in my childhood, it was all becoming too much. He told me to move on and leave the past in the past, and I did."

"So, you agree with the idiot," Steve replied. His tone wasn't accusatory. He didn't pull away from her. He just seemed to accept her answer. "I don't know how to do it. Can you show me how?"

"No, not this time. Some people, most people, need permission to move on with their lives or things are going to erupt even further into chaos. The government can't keep propping everyone up. Food and gas shortages are going to come really quickly if people don't get to a place where they can go back to somewhat normal lives and provide for themselves. But, Steve, we aren't most people. Some people can move on, but not us. We have to find a way to fix this."

Steve nodded in understanding. "But not us," he replied, placing a kiss on her forehead and laying back onto her bed, pulling her with him so she could rest.

"But not us," she repeated before snuggling into his chest and falling into a deep sleep.

**Thoughts? Do I try to continue or is everyone content with a one shot?**


	2. Chapter 2

**I have decided to continue this one, but it won't be much like my other Avengers stories. This will will be more team-centered than most of my stories.**

Salami was not even on the list of Natasha's favorite sandwich meats, but here she was making a grilled salami and mozzarella sandwich at nearly ten at night. She had no intention of eating it herself. She and Steve had eaten some pasta after their extremely long nap.

Nap seemed like the wrong word for eight solid hours of sleep, but it's what she was going with because napping with her partner seemed less intimate than actually sleeping with her partner, even if it was the best sleep she'd had gotten since the Snap.

Finally rested and content that Steve was as stable as he could be at the moment, she needed to make sure Bruce was taking care of himself, thus the salami. She placed the sandwich and some chips on a tray, grabbed a diet coke from the fridge, and made her way to the lab.

She and Bruce hadn't had the conversation she knew they probably needed, and she really hoped he wouldn't take the offer of food as an invitation to actually talk about what happened between them. Time had given her a certain clarity about their failed attempt at a relationship, and she was at peace with it. She hoped he was, too.

Her concern at the moment was for his health. He was still in the lab, and she knew, thanks to Friday, he hadn't left since early morning. He needed to eat and rest. She was determined to make sure he did both.

"Knock, knock," she said as she opened the door and carried the tray to an empty space on one of the long tables. "Dinner is served."

"You're back," Bruce said, "Clint?"

Natasha just shook her head. "It was him. He's not ready," she said "You're working too hard. Don't bother denying it. Friday's on my side. Stop what your doing and eat."

Bruce looked like a child caught in an act of disobedience. He looked down at the keyboard, clicked the mouse to save whatever he was working on and walked over to the seat in front of the tray. "You shouldn't have gone to the trouble," he said before picking up the sandwich and taking a bite. "Perfect, thank you."

"You're welcome," she replied. "Any progress?"

"Maybe a little. I'm trying to locate Tony's armor. It has a unique energy signature. If I can get a read on the armor-"

"You can figure out where he is in the galaxy. That's a good plan."

"It'll only work if he didn't disappear."

Natasha only nodded again. It was true enough. If Tony had been snapped out of existence while wearing his suit, the suit would be gone, too. "How long have you been scanning for the signal?" she asked.

"Too long," he replied, "but I'm not ready to give up yet."

"I wasn't going to ask you to quit. If there's even the slightest chance Tony's still out there, we owe it to him to keep searching. I'm just worried about the toll it's taking on you. You need to sleep sometime."

"I know. I just can't not be here, you know? What if there's a blip on the screen and I miss it? He's my friend," Bruce replied.

"Show me what to look for," Natasha insisted "then you can go and rest. He's my friend, too. We'll do this together."

Bruce quickly devoured his sandwich and gave her a quick tutorial. "I won't be gone long. You've got to be jet lagged."

"I slept the day away. Stay away at least 8 hours or I'll have Friday lock you in your room. We've got work to do, and we're going to need you healthy."

"Without the other guy, I'm not much use," he said.

Natasha put her hand on his shoulder. "It's not the other guy we need right now, Bruce. We need our scientist. The team needs you."

"How about you, Nat? Do you need me? I didn't mean to leave. You were the first person I thought of when I got control back. Is there any chance?"

Natasha looked into Bruce's eyes. He looked so nervous, desperate even, but she couldn't give him the answer he really wanted. It wouldn't be fair to give him a false sense of hope. "I don't blame you for leaving, Bruce. If anyone's to blame, it's me. If I hadn't pushed you, the other guy wouldn't have taken you away. You wouldn't have lost years of your life. I'm sorry."

"I don't blame you. I was asking you to run away in the middle of a battle. I should have known better. But, you didn't exactly answer my question."

"A lot has changed."

"The whole world has changed, but I have a feeling that's not what your talking about, is it?"

"No, Bruce, it's not," Natasha said, searching for the right words. "I don't know whether we would have made it or not, honestly. I just know that I'm not the same person I was a few years ago. Ultron, being on the run, the Snap, those things change a person."

"And, I'm guessing the new you doesn't feel for me what the old you felt," he said.

"I'm sorry, Bruce."

"I get it. It's just another issue I need to take up with the other guy, I guess," he paused. "I'm going to go sleep awhile. Have Friday wake me if you find anything."

"Of course."

* * *

"Friday, where's Natasha?" Steve asked.

"Agent Romanoff is currently in the lab, Captain Rogers," Friday said.

"With Banner?" he asked, regretting his question as soon as it left his mouth. He didn't have any right to be jealous. If Natasha and Bruce could find a little happiness, he should be happy for them. The idea of the two of them being together bothered him a lot more than he expected. He was going to have to work on that. Natasha deserved a real relationship.

"Dr. Banner is in his quarters," Friday said.

"Thank you, Friday."

Steve wondered why Natasha was in the lab alone, and he couldn't seem to make his feet turn towards his room. Of their own volition, they were headed straight to Natasha's location. He'd missed her so much while she was looking for Clint. He hadn't slept hardly at all until their little impromptu nap, and knowing she was in the building, there was nowhere he wanted to be more than at her side. She was his last lifeline, and he needed her desperately.

Walking through the door to the lab was harder than Steve expected. Without Tony working on something crazy and potentially dangerous, the room felt odd. He hated it. He hated that the voice on the other end of the phone he had carried with him constantly for the last two years, willing it to ring, wasn't Tony's. He hated that Tony might never make another crude joke at his expense. He hated that they'd never really made peace. This room, more so than any other in the compound, reminded Steve of how much he missed his friend.

Steve was so lost in his thoughts, he didn't immediately see Natasha's blonde head poking up over the monitor. "Can't sleep?" she asked.

"Too long a nap," he said, leaving out that the idea of sleep only sounded appealing when she was in his arms. Not that they usually slept in each others arms, but he sure wouldn't be opposed to the idea.

"Looking for Bruce?"

"No, Friday said you were here."

"So, you were looking for me?" she said, but he noticed a slight change in her expression. It wasn't quite a smile, but it was close. "What do you need?"

"I'm not sure. I just needed to know you were okay, I guess. What are you doing in here?"

"Bruce is looking for Tony. I'm covering for him so he can sleep awhile. Maybe my jet lag will come in handy. He isn't taking care of himself."

Steve immediately felt guilty. He should have noticed and tried to help Bruce. It was his responsibility to look after the team, and he'd been so preoccupied with his own losses he hadn't done his job. "You should rest. I'll take over," he said.

"No need. I'm fine, but if our nap really messed up your sleep for tonight you might as well keep me company," Natasha said, pointing to the seat beside her.

Steve sat down and listened as Natasha explained what they were looking for but he was skeptical. "What happens if we find him out there? We still don't have a way to go get him. It almost seems like it would be worse to know he's alive and waiting for a rescue that isn't going to happen."

"We have a way," Natasha said. "Rhodey has convinced the Pentagon to give us a prototype ship. It's not completely ready, but it's got everything we need. We might have a rough ride, but that's nothing new. If he's out there, we can save him, Steve."

Steve just stared at the monitor, trying to will it to give them Tony's coordinates. He was impressed with Bruce and Rhodey's work. They were actually making a difference while he was busy moping around. It was time to get his head in the game and find a way to do something.

Staring at the monitor wasn't making it announce Tony's location any faster, so they sat and talked. Steve listened as Natasha finally voiced the words she had left unspoken earlier in the day. Clint's entire family was gone.

Hearing the anguish in Natasha's voice, he pulled her back into his embrace then quickly let go as soon as he remembered they were working on Bruce's project. He felt oddly guilty for comforting her where in the room Bruce spent so much of his time. Of course, she looked puzzled when he pulled away.

"Have I had my limit of Captain America cuddles for the day?" Natasha asked.

"What? Oh, no, I just-" Steve paused. "It seemed wrong to hug you in here. Bruce is back. I've been selfish for monopolizing so much of your time."

"I'm pretty sure that's not an accurate assessment, Steve. Maybe I'm the one taking up your time."

"I don't want to be responsible for you not getting what you want. He's back Nat. If anyone deserves a chance at happily ever after it's you and Banner I don't want to be a third wheel."

"So, your plan is to step away from our friendship when we need each other most in order to force me into a relationship you haven't even asked if I want? Steve, I think you better stop making assumptions."

Steve was slightly flustered. "Do you want to be with Bruce?"

"I want him to be safe. I want him to take better care of himself. I want him to be happy. But, I don't want to be with Bruce."

"You don't?"

"No, I don't. Maybe happily ever after is for other people. We fight the battles. They live their lives. Maybe romance is for them-"

"But not us," Steve added.

"Maybe not us. Are you going to hug me again? Because that's a pretty depressing thought in itself."

Steve wrapped his arms around her and held on tight. He wasn't sure she was right, but he was too relieved he wasn't losing her to Bruce to care at the moment. He just held Natasha as he stared at the monitor, praying at least Tony and Pepper would get their happy ending.


	3. Chapter 3

Pepper looked up from her desk in her office at Stark Enterprises when Happy entered the room. His expression never changed anymore. He always looked so much like a little lost puppy who'd lost his best friend, which was probably pretty accurate. He and Tony had been close, and she knew he was still reeling from the loss. That was one thing they had in common.

Happy didn't say anything as he walked across the plush carpet with a bottle of orange juice and a power bar in his hand. He put it on the desk in front of her, so Pepper dutifully opened the bar and took a bite.

Pepper appreciated the way Happy tried to take care of her, even though it was unnecessary in her opinion. It's not like she was incapable of eating when she got hungry. She just rarely had much of an appetite. There was too much to do.

If Tony were here, he would insist on moving as many of the company's resources as possible to help people recover from the Snap, so that's exactly what she was doing. Slokovia's people were in more dire shape than the majority of the world, so Pepper was sending more aid their direction than any other directions. She knew Tony would be pleased with the decision even if it was going to seriously affect the company's bottom line.

Her heart ached with the knowledge he would probably never know how much his company had done to help survivors these past few weeks, and it nearly destroyed her to think Tony would never meet their child.

Two blue lines four days after Tony disappeared with that alien space ship had changed everything. She was going to be a mother, and it would have been a terrifying prospect even if Tony were around. Without him, the idea petrified her.

The only person who knew she was expecting was Happy, and Pepper wanted to keep it that way for as long as possible. She almost wished he didn't know either, because his primary mission in life seemed to be ensuring she got enough sleep and ate the right things. He was actually probably more invested in her pregnancy than she was and that made her feel terribly guilty.

Happy stood silently and watched her finish off the power bar then he pulled a bottle of vitamins out of a plastic bag she hadn't realized he was holding. He held the bottle up, waiting for her opinion.

"I hadn't even thought about those," Pepper admitted, mentally chastising herself for dropping such an important ball.

"You've had a lot on your mind. The pharmacist said these were the best you can get over the counter. I figured until you visit the doctor they'd be better than nothing," Happy said.

Pepper nodded. "Thank you. I know you want me to make the appointment and I promise I will. I just need a little more time."

"We all have a lot to deal with right now, you more than most," he said. "It can wait a little longer as long as you take care of yourself."

"With you around to look out for me, I'm sure it will be okay."

Pepper gave him a weak smile as she opened the bottle and took one of the extra large vitamins. It was almost too big to swallow, and she choked slightly getting it down, causing Happy to rush around the desk to her side.

She put one finger in the air, implying she just needed a minute, but he stood cautiously ready to intervene with the Heimlich. He really was too much at times, but he was practically family and she loved the over-eager body guard.

"I'm fine," she said as soon as she recovered her breath. "I'm just going to go over these reports and make a few calls before lunch. You don't have to stick around."

"I'll be in the building if you need me," Happy said. Just before he reached the door, he turned around. "This baby your carrying is a gift. The boss would be really happy. Don't let the circumstances take away from how big of a deal this is. You are going to be a good mother. I ought to know. I had a good mother, so I can recognize one when I see one."

"Thank you, Happy. That means a lot to me," Pepper said.

Happy merely nodded and left her alone in her office. Pepper wiped away a tear she quickly blamed on her hormones and opened up her browser.

Before she could even look over the items report for the latest shipment to Slokovia, her phone rang. Seeing Rhodey's name, she answered immediately.

"Pepper, we've got Tony's last known location. The team and I are going to check it out," he said quickly.

"When do we leave?" she asked.

"Bruce is doing a quick check over the ship's navigational system. The rest of us are loading supplies. We'll leave as soon as we're finished, but you don't need to go with us. We're talking about outer space."

"We're talking about Tony," Pepper countered. "I'm going."

Rhodey was silent for a moment. "You know it might not be good news."

"I can't stay behind," she said. "I'm on my way. Don't leave without me."

Rhodey promised to wait and they hung up. Pepper picked up the prenatal vitamins and headed for the door. She felt a little guilty for avoiding Happy on her way out of the building, but she knew he wouldn't agree with her decision. She didn't even fully agree with her decision, and she was the one making it. All she knew was that Tony should be here with her and their child, and she needed to be the one to bring him home.

If her decision changed Happy's opinion on her ability to be a good mother or not, so be it. Parenthood was supposed to be something she and Tony did together. Maybe lots of others had done it on their own, but not her, she decided. "But, not us," she quietly whispered to herself as she got into her car.

* * *

Natasha was securing MREs in the storage compartment of the galley area of the ship, while Steve double checked their gear a few feet away. "So, you said this is equipped with artificial gravity, right?" Steve asked. "How is that even possible?"

"Tony helped develop the artificial gravity using some of the Chitari tech we reclaimed while we were on the run. I'm sure he didn't know we were the ones leaving the stock piles of Chitari weapons for the military to pick up, but, in a way, we helped get this thing operational," Natasha said.

Steve nodded. "And, now we can use it to rescue Tony. Rhodey said the flight controls are similar to a quinjet, and all four of us can fly. We should be fine as long as the engineers did their job. I do kind of wish we could have taken it on a trial run before having to travel so far though."

"Me too, but it is what it is." She closed the cabinet and picked up a few of the sleeping bags. "Grab the other two and let's take these to the bunks. I'll flip you for who's on top."

Steve's face turned a pleasant shade of pink, and Natasha rolled her eyes. There was a glimpse of the old Steve. "Mind out of the gutter, Steve, or you'll be sharing a set of bunks with Bruce instead of me. Pretty sure you don't want the other guy finally making his appearance while you're on the bunk below him."

Steve was about to reply when Rhodey walked in with more gear. Natasha noticed another sleeping bad and a purple case she knew contained Pepper's rescue suit. She raised an eyebrow and just looked at Rhodey.

"Pepper will be here within the hour. She says she's going with us," Rhodey said, just a touch of uncertainty in his voice. He quickly passed through the small galley kitchen, leaving Natasha and Steve alone.

"I'd probably do the same thing if I were her," Natasha said. "She'll bunk with me. Sorry, old man, you're stuck with one of the boys after all."

"I think I'll manage. I just hope we find good news. If things don't go the way we want-" Steve began.

"Pepper will be okay. She's stronger than she looks, Steve, but it won't matter anyway. It's gonna work, Steve."

"I hope so, because I don't know what I'm going to do if it doesn't."

Natasha put her arms around Steve's neck and pulled him into a hug. She knew it was weighing heavily on him that he and Tony had never made peace. She wished she could help him feel a little more secure in their plan, but there were so many unknowns.

Finding the armor didn't guarantee Tony was still alive, and they all knew it. Taking an untested space ship light years from home would probably seem like a fool's errand to most people, but they had to try.

As Rodey emerged from the bunks, Natasha quickly released Steve. Rhodey gave them a look that made it pretty obvious he'd come to the wrong conclusion about their relationship. Natasha started to correct the misunderstanding, but she couldn't quite make herself do it for some reason.

"Banner says he's got everything ready on his end," Rhodey said. "I'm just going to go and wait for Pepper. We'll leave as soon as she arrives."

"We'll be ready," Steve replied then he looked at Natasha. "Once we have Tony home, we'll figure out the rest of this mess. We won't give up."

"Of course, we won't," she said, softly adding, "not us."


	4. Chapter 4

Natasha had just finished her shift in the cockpit and was heading to her bunk when she noticed the door to Steve's pod was ajar. A quick glance into the dimly lit room told her everything she needed to know. Steve was alone in the room, but he wasn't in his bunk. He was on the floor doing pushups, and, from the looks of things, he had been at it quite awhile.

"You should be sleeping," she said, leaning against the door facing as she spoke.

"Not such an easy thing to do lately," he said, quickly raising to a standing position.

"When's the last time you really rested?"

Steve avoided meeting her eyes and shuffled his feet a moment. "The truth?" he asked. "I guess our nap after you came back from Hong Kong is the only time I've been able to really relax enough to sleep more than a few hours since the Snap."

"That was six days ago," Natasha said softly.

"I know." Steve sighed and slumped onto his bunk.

"Me either," Natasha finally admitted. "I haven't really been sleeping much." She walked through the narrow doorway and pulled the sliding metal door closed behind her. Steve gave her a puzzled look as she stepped out of her shoes and cargo pants before crawling into the bunk, climbing over him to take the space near the wall. "What? We need sleep. Pepper is probably out cold anyway. She won't even notice if I don't come to our room. Just spoon me Rogers, so we can get some real rest."

Her words were all it took for him to roll up behind her and put his arm around her waist. "What does it say about us that we can't seem to sleep without each other?" he whispered into her hair.

"I think it says we make each other feel safe, and feeling safe doesn't come easy anymore," she said, snuggling deeper into his arms. "Let's try not to overthink it, Steve. Just know that I trust you and I'm glad you're still here."

Natasha felt a feather light kiss in her hair before she heard Steve's whispered response. "There's no one I trust more than you, Nat."

Hours later, Natasha felt a soft kiss on her blonde head. Steve was awake. His arm was still draped over her waist, but he was tracing some kind of design on her abdomen, just below where her t-shirt had ridden up in the night. Wait, it wasn't a design. It was letters. What was he trying to spell and why did this feel incredible? Where was her hundred year old soldier and his 1940's manners?

Natasha was torn between feigning sleep so she could figure out what he was writing and letting him know she was awake. The sensation of having his artist hands on her stomach was almost overwhelming, and after a moment, a sharp intake of breath gave her away. His hand stopped moving immediately.

"Sorry," he whispered into her ear. "I'm not sure what came over me." He started to remove his hand, but Natasha quickly put her own hand over his.

"I think I know. It's okay. It happens. Just a few more minutes before we go out there?" she asked. "We should be getting close to the coordinates. I think we could use a little time to process things before we find out what happened to Tony."

"Yeah, of course," Steve said. "I didn't have any right to touch you."

"Didn't you?" Natasha asked, rolling to face him. "The lines have been blurry for a long time. We lean on each other, Steve. You were reaching out for human contact. It's not a big deal."

"I'm not so sure about that. Having you in my arms always feels like a pretty big deal to me."

"I know we care more than we used to but that doesn't mean anything has to change. I'm not going anywhere. Why don't we just save this conversation for later when things are less confusing?"

"Got it. No talking. How about this?" Steve brought his lips just millimeters from her own and waited for a sign. Natasha gave a slight nod, but just before his lips descended on her own, there was a knock on the door.

Natasha pulled back slightly, just as Pepper opened the door a crack. Natasha noticed that Pepper's face was turned away as she spoke, probably a habit she'd picked up during her days as Tony's assistant when she could never be sure she wasn't interrupting a make out session. "Rhodey sent me to wake you. It's almost time."

"On our way," Steve said as they both jumped out of the bed.

Rhodey was waiting in the cargo hold. He handed Pepper her rescue suit then pulled out two other metal cases. One had a Steve's shield engraved on the top, while the other had Natasha's signature hourglass. Rhodey pushed the button on Steve's case and it opened revealing an iron suit obviously designed just for him.

"You two should suit up. These are better than any space suits NASA could ever design," Rhodey said.

"I didn't even know Tony made these," Steve said as he ran a hand over the shiny armor.

"He made them after you left," Pepper said softly. "He always knew there would come a time when you needed to fight side by side again."

"When he realized you guys were the ones tracking down terrorist cells who were savaging Chitari tech, he had Friday keep an eye out for suspicious activity. We monitored things from the compound. He almost deployed the suits to rescue you during the Bagdad fiasco."

"I don't know what to say," Steve said.

Natasha picked up her own case. "You can say thank you as soon as we pick him up. I'm not surprised. Tony had our backs. We've got his," she said.

Natasha and Pepper went back to their quarters to change. She wasn't surprised when Pepper brought up Steve. "So, you didn't come to bed last night," Pepper began, "and you were in the capatain's room this morning."

"I was," Natasha replied.

"How long has that been going on?"

"There's nothing going on exactly. We sleep together sometimes," Natasha said.

"Wow, I'm a little impressed. I assumed you were in a relationship. How did you talk him into something so casual? Better yet, why? I mean, I always thought you would be great together."

"It's not like that. We just sleep together, as in sleep. Steve and I depend on each other. The last few years have been hard. I guess we've just gotten closer, and it's just comforting to be together."

"Oh, I'm sorry. I guess I just assumed-"

"An understandable assumption."

"So, never?" Pepper asked.

"We came close a few times, but we were interrupted. Sam came in at the wrong moment when we were dealing with the mess at Shield then you came in this morning."

Pepper's eyes grew wide. "I am so sorry."

"Don't be. Saving Tony is top priority for all of us, and it would have been a bad idea. That's not something that needs to happen in the heat of the moment. If it ever happens, the world doesn't need to be in crisis. What Steve and I have is unique. I'd hate for a moment of passion to take away what we've got."

"I have a feeling it would only make what you have stronger," Pepper said, "but I see your point. Things are pretty bad right now."

"Let's go see if we can make them better. We should be almost there. Let's save Tony."

* * *

Tony looked at the sensors in the cockpit. Temperatures were already falling. It was frigid, and he could see his breath. He guessed he should be grateful he was still breathing, but it seemed like a moot point. He wouldn't be breathing much longer. Oxygen levels should start dropping within the hour. He almost hoped the bitter cold got him first.

He looked over at his silent companion and almost pitied her. Nebula had already told him her body would probably last an extra twelve to fifteen hours longer than his own. She would be on her own at the end. It seemed wrong after hearing about the life she'd led, but what could he do? Apparently not much.

He couldn't hold the team together. He couldn't stop Thanos. He'd failed royally at protecting Peter, and he hadn't even managed to get a wedding band on Pepper's finger. He was a complete and utter failure in every sense of the word, and he was just about out of time.

If he could go back, he'd do a lot of things differently. He would have been a better son. He wouldn't have spent all his time womanizing and just popped the question the minute Pepper entered his life. Ultron would never have happened, and the team would have been standing together at the end.

His thoughts turned to Steve, and he was surprised when he felt no anger, not even a tinge. He just hoped Cap was alive and mad enough to rain hell down on Thanos.

As the thought crossed his mind, he heard static over the radio. "Did you hear that?" he asked.

Nebula didn't bother answering. She just quickly started making adjustments to the coms. There was more static, but this time he heard just a twinge of a familiar voice even though he couldn't make out the words.

Tony couldn't see anything unusual out of the cockpit window, so he used the little strength he had left to walk to towards the back of the ship. That's when he saw it. The ship he had privately dubbed the Enterprise wasn't far away. They were going to be rescued.

Once Nebula got the radio to work, it didn't take long to get the Enterprise docked to the Guardians' ship. The first person he saw was the angel he never thought he would see again.

"You're here," he said softly. "I never thought I'd see you again."

"Of course, I'm here," Pepper said. "Let's get you onto the ship. You look terrible."

Rhodey had already hopped down onto the floor beside him and was trying to help him climb the ladder to where the Enterprise was docked above them when Pepper slid to the side to make room for someone else. Steve reached his arms down to steady Tony and pull him up into the hold.

"Good to see you among the living," Steve said.

"Likewise, Capsicle. I'm a little surprised to see you here, but I'm glad you came."

Once Tony was aboard, the others helped Nebula onto the ship and Pepper and Natasha insisted on putting them on oxygen. Before long, Tony was sitting in the galley surrounded by his rescuers and listening to their own stories about Thanos.

One person was noticeably absent from the conversation, understandable since the ship's autopilot wasn't installed yet, but Tony had a hunch Steve had made a conscious choice to stay away for a bit. Piloting gave him an excuse. They would need privacy for their talk, but it would be okay. They were Avengers and the universe needed them to make their peace.

"I still can't believe you came," Tony said after they'd finally finished sharing their war stories. "You didn't give up on me."

"We don't give up on our own," Bruce said.

"Some people, most people, probably would have," Tony said.

"But, not us," Natasha said.


	5. Chapter 5

Steve stayed in the cockpit for more than just his shift. He knew the others needed time with Tony, and he wasn't sure where he and Tony stood at the moment. Tony did let him help him aboard the ship, so he considered that a win. They would need to talk soon, but it could wait until the others had their chance.

Steve practiced his apology over and over again as he sat at the wheel. It was harder than he expected. He was wrong to keep the truth about Howard's death from his son, but he wasn't wrong about Bucky. He wasn't wrong about the Accords either, but neither was Tony in a way. Siberia was a disaster. It paved the way for the mess they were in now, but they had to figure out a way to work together for everyone's sake.

As Steve was checking the gauges, he heard a voice from behind him. "Another two months and this bird would have been ready to go, complete with it's own A.I. I was thinking about calling it Fury just to tick the old guy off," Tony said.

Steve turned his direction and chuckled. "He would have probably been proud. Might have even hacked it so he could talk to you in space."

"Me? Oh, no, I had no intention of taking this up myself. Can't beat the view though."

"All I see right now is a whole lot of nothing," Steve admitted.

"Stars, planets, galaxies, that's not nothing. I hear you were the one who caught my signal. Not bad for a man who slept through the space race."

"Let's just say I needed to make a mends, and I wasn't going to let a couple of galaxies get in the way."

"Is that why you came?" Tony asked.

"Part of it. I also came because there has to be a way to fix this, and I can't do it without you."

"Right. Fix the galaxy to save your friend. Rhodey told me he was one of the dusted," Tony said, a hint of sarcasm in his voice.

"Bucky is just one of billions, trillions. People are hurting. We lost because we weren't fighting side by side. Zemo may have been pulling the strings, but I gave him the perfect weapon to destroy the Avengers. I should have told you what I knew. I was wrong, Tony."

"I thought we were friends, Cap. If it had been Peggy, I'd have told you."

"If it had been Peggy, it wouldn't have been an issue. I still would have tried to help Bucky. Howard would have agreed with me."

"Don't say his name," Tony said angrily then he paused and took the seat beside Steve. "You're not wrong. He would have mourned Aunt Peg then he'd have gone after Barnes and tried to save him. He talked about Barnes some, not like he talked about you, but enough. I keep thinking about how awful it had to be for him to see his friend right before he killed him. It shouldn't have happened."

"No, it shouldn't," Steve said. "It haunted Bucky after he finally regained theory. I found him in his quarters the night he realized what he had done. He had a revolver in his hand. Said he couldn't live with it. I stopped him. He wanted to tell you, but I stopped that, too. It's on me. All of it."

"Not all of it," Tony sighed. "The Accords and the Raft are on me. Everything they did to Wanda, I let that happen. We did this. We doomed half the population of the entire universe. Some heroes we turned out to be."

"What now? Can we work together to fix this? Or, do we go our separate ways and see what happens next?"

"Since going our separate ways got us into this mess, I guess we better figure out how to be a team-for real this time. I won't create any world destroying A.I.s if you won't harbor any known felons without telling me the facts. Is it a deal?"

"I think I can handle that."

"If this little love fest is over, it's my turn to drive," Rhodey said from behind the. "Pepper said she wants you to come and sleep, Tony, and you've been up long enough, Cap. Widow's still in the galley. I have a hunch she's waiting up. Don't keep your ladies waiting."

Tony raised his eyebrows. "That explains so much. You and Red?"

"Not exactly," Steve replied, but his thoughts immediately went back to the morning.

"Really?" Rhodey asked. "It looked pretty obvious you were a thing when you walked into the compound."

"We're a not a thing. She's just my," Steve paused, "she's my everything. She's my everything," he repeated, more for his own benefit than the others. "I think I need to go talk to Natasha."

"If you're just now figuring out what the rest of us already knew, I think it's time you tell her," Rhodey agreed.

Steve took off, leaving Rhodey explaining to Tony exactly how inseparable he and Natasha had been. He needed to make sure she knew once and for all. No more hinting around, no more hedging his bets, he was going to put all his cards on the table.

Natasha was staring out the window when he arrived. "You're not in bed," he said, seeing her yawn.

"I have a conundrum."

"A conundrum? You?" he asked. "What is it? Maybe I can help?"

"Tony is here. He'll be taking my place with Pepper. Nebula looked like she needed some time alone to process, and I'm going to give it to her. That leaves your room or Bruce's. I'm not sure what to do."

"Between bunking with me or Bruce? Because of this morning?"

Natasha nodded. "If I sleep in Bruce's room, you're going to assume I changed my mind about fixing the relationship. If I sleep in yours, there's a very real chance it'll lead to sex."

"And, that would be bad?" he asked, suddenly worried about the direction this conversation was going.

"I doubt it. It would probably be amazing, but I can't risk having something casual with you. I don't think I could handle the ramifications. I need you too much to lose you."

"You think you'd lose me?"

"I think my track record speaks for itself."

"Come on," he said, offering her his hand. "You can take your pick of bunks, but you're with me. I promise we will never have have casual anything."

Natasha looked like she'd been slapped. "Never?"

"You just said-"

"I know. You're right. We need to avoid romantic entanglements and just do our jobs."

"Oh, I definitely didn't say that," Steve replied. "It's way too late for that. I am in love with you, Nat, and I think you feel something for me, too. But, I'm not going to touch you again until we're both sure there's nothing casual about it."

Steve put his hand back to his size and walked to his small quarters. He didn't need to look behind him to know Natasha was following. When they got inside, he pointed to the bunks. "Top or bottom?"

"Top," she said, still not making a move towards the bed.

Steve quickly took off his shirt and climbed in bed. Natasha just stood there. "Are you going to bed?"

"I'm thinking," she said. "You said-"

"I did."

"How long?"

"I have no idea. All I know is I do and it's enough for me."

"Kind of a big bombshell to drop on a person, don't you think?"

"It's pretty obvious to everyone else."

"I love you, too."

"Good. Now, get to bed."

Natasha took a few steps towards him and sat on the bottom bunk beside him. "In all seriousness, have you been with anyone since you left the ice?"

"I'm a hundred. I'm not dead, Nat."

"How long has it been?"

"Hong Kong."

"When were you in Hong Kong?" she asked. "We've been a lot of places through the last few years, but I don't remember a mission to Hong Kong."

"When you were in Hong Kong," he said softly. "It didn't mean anything. I think I was just trying to forget how much I'd lost, how much more I stood to lose with Bruce back."

Natasha sat up a little straighter. "Bruce wasn't a threat to us. Who was she?"

"Sharon. She's still alive." Steve looked into Natasha's eyes. "It wasn't about love. It was a mistake."

"A mistake with Sharon, Steve. It had to mean something."

"Not to me, and it won't happen again. I love you."

"Sharon's your link to the love of your life. You can't tell me there's not a part of you-"

"You're the love of my life. Let me put it to you this way, Sharon and I will not be seeing each other again. I know this, because she doesn't want to see me again. Women don't like it when you call them by another woman's name."

"You called her Peggy?"

"No," Steve replied.

"Oh, that's, I don't know what to say." Natasha leaned over and kissed him, crawling in beside him. The kiss intensified quickly.

Steve finally pulled back. "Nat, I'm trying to keep my promise. No."

"You said, until we're sure. I'm sure, Steve. This isn't casual, not with us." Steve didn't speak. He just kissed her again.


	6. Chapter 6

Pepper was in bed when Tony entered their tiny quarters, but she wasn't asleep. She motioned for him to join her. Tony climbed in beside her and pulled her in close to him. He was so glad she came with the team, so he didn't have to wait any longer to hold her in his arms.

"I have a confession to make," Pepper said softly, "and I need you to hear it from me, not Happy."

"What? Did you run Stark Enterprises into the ground while I was out of the galaxy?"

"No, well, maybe a little," she said. "Let's just say the bottom line isn't looking very promising after all the aid I've approved since the Snap. A lot of it went to Sokovia."

"Good, thank you. I don't care what it cost the company. We'd be financially set if the company never made another dime. People need help. I'd have done the same thing," he said.

Pepper sucked in a deep breath. "I know, but that isn't what I was going to tell you. You're probably not going to like what I've done. Happy probably has an APB out for me by now."

"Again with the bringing up Happy in bed," Tony teased. "Unless you're trying to tell me you're leaving me for my head of security, please don't bring him up again."

Pepper laughed. "That is most definitely not going to happen."

"Good then lay it on me. What'd you do?"

"I didn't tell Happy where I was going."

"I'm sure he's worried, but he'll understand. He probably would have came with you to get me."

"He probably would have come to get you but insisted I stay behind," Pepper paused. "I'm pregnant, Tony. We're having a baby."

Tony froze. "Did you just say-"

"I did. I know it was irresponsible to go hurtling through space with our child-"

"Not something I would have expected you to do," he admitted.

"But I needed to be here with you."

Tony kissed her forehead. "I'm glad you're here with me. We're having a baby, Pepper. I'm not mad. I want this with you."

"You don't think I'm a bad parent."

"You're going to be a great mom. No more space travel until the rugrat is born but I understand why you needed to be here. I do have one thing I need you to do for me though."

"What's that?"

"Set a date. I want our kid to be born after the wedding. Otherwise, the honeymoon isn't going to feel much like a honeymoon, not with Morgan demanding I share his mother with him."

"It could be a girl, you know."

"That's fine. Morgan works either way."

"I'm really not sold on the name Morgan, Tony."

"We can negotiate names later. I'm just thrilled you're here with me, and we're going to have this baby."

* * *

Steve woke up in an empty bed the next morning. Memories from the night before flooded his mind. Why wasn't Natasha in his arms? Had they moved to fast? Was she having second thoughts?

He quickly dressed and went looking for the woman he loved. She was sitting in the cockpit, her eyes never left the controls. "I wondered when you were going to show up."

Steve was perplexed. "I woke up and you were gone."

Natasha turned her head slightly and frowned. "And, you thought I left because of last night?"

Steve nodded. "Is this the part where we have the awkward morning after talk?" he asked.

"Is that what this is? An awkward morning after?"

"I didn't think so until you weren't there when I woke up. If we moved too fast-"

"Too fast? Snails move faster than we have, Steve. It was time for me to relieve Rhodey. You were sleeping, peacefully for a change. I didn't want to wake you."

"I guess I jumped to the wrong conclusion. I'm not very good at these things. Not much past experience to draw on when it comes to real relationships," Steve said.

"Pretty sure that could be said for both of us," Natasha said, motioning for him to sit beside her. "The timing could have been better, but I know how I feel about you, Steve. It's scary, because I've never been this emotionally invested before. What we have, even before last night, is more real than anything I've ever experienced. I'm all in."

"Me too. I can live without a lot of things, but I don't think I could live without you. I want us."

"Then I guess there's no reason why we can't both get what we want for a change, but we can't let our relationship affect the mission. We have a job to do."

"And, we'll do it together, all of us. Tony and I talked things through. We are going to put our differences aside and defeat Thanos, whatever it takes."

"Good, we do whatever it takes then worry about everything else."

"I sure hope you're not suggesting we table us until this is over," Steve said

"Pretty sure there's no putting the cork back in this bottle, and I don't want to waste any more time," Natasha said. "I do have one complaint though."

Steve frowned. "What is it?"

"You showed up without coffee, and no breakfast? Is that any way to treat a lady?"

"I think I can fix that," Steve smiled and kissed Natasha before going to get them something to eat.

He found Tony eating his own breakfast in the galley. He was alone, and Steve nodded his direction before starting a fresh pot of coffee and pulling our a few bagels.

"I guess you had that talk with Widow last night," Tony said, taking a sip of his juice.

"We talked. She feels the same way."

"That much I figured out. Thin walls," Tony smirked. "Limits some of the nicknames I had for you. I can't call you Captain Virgin anymore."

"You could never call me that," Steve said. He didn't mind the direction the conversation was going as much as he once might have, because, at least, they were talking. He did make a mental note to warn Natasha about the thin walls.

"All kidding aside, I'm glad you have each other. Not everyone's as lucky as us."

"No, things are bad back home, Tony. Clint's in the wind. He lost his entire family. Lots of people lost the ones closest to them. We have a lot of challenges ahead of us."

"We'll face them together," Tony said. "We'll fix this or die trying. I have to tell you, I'd really prefer not to die trying this time. Pepper's pregnant."

"She's pregnant? We brought a pregnant woman on a potentially dangerous mission? Tony, I swear I didn't know."

"I believe you. She didn't want you to know. She said she had to come. I hate it, but I get it," Tony said.

"I've missed you, Tony. I carried that phone around, hoping you'd call. When I thought you were gone and we'd never get a chance to make peace, it nearly killed me. You might not believe me, but I think I mourned more for you than even Bucky. You are family. I'm sorry things went so sideways. I'll help you keep Pepper and the baby safe, whatever it takes."

"I believe you," Tony said, looking him in the eye. "I never left my phone at home either. I'm glad you came after me. We'll be okay. Some people have lost everything thanks to our stubbornness, but not us. We have the women we love. We're luckier than most."

"We are," Steve agreed. "Some people would be smart enough to quit and just live out their lives with the ones they had left, too, but that's not us either."

"But, not us," Tony said, standing to shake Steve's hand. "We stand together and fight."

**And, I'm ending this here. The sequel is coming and will pick up after Endgame. It is call "Whatever it Takes", and it's pretty angsty already. Probably another weekly update story because of my scedule. **


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